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Gallery
The pictures in this gallery are authentic. They were taken of an actual tomato, which grew in my family's garden. We have a good cluster of tomato plants that were especially productive this year. No photo retouching or editing was performed, except those manipulations necessary to convert the raw photos into JPEG format. You're looking at a real, natural tomato.
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 First view of Phallic Tomato. Notice the hook-shaped protuberance between the main lobes of the fruit. The smooth skin creates subtle reflections that bring out the color. sample |
 Left side view. The shape of the protuberance becomes quite defined in this view. The blemish on the top of the left lobe is actually a scratch in the tomato skin. |
 Right rear view. Notice the space between the lobes, and the unique curvature of the rear lobes. The lighter lines appeared to be rough spots in the tomato skin. |
 Full posterior view. Gap between rear lobes is probably joining two separate smaller tomatoes, or one which was subjected to forces in this spot and grew around it. |
 Right front view. Again, notice the defined front protuberance, which evokes images of a curled tongue. Notice the contrast in size between the two main lobes. |
 Top side view of the tomato, showing the curled stem and green leafy thing. (If you know the technical name for it, tell me.) Notice the light brown line on the protuberance as well. |
 Underside view of the tomato, and the joining spots for the lobes. On The Man Show, we were told (and shown!) that a maximum of 75% of a human posterior could be shown on network or cable television. Apparently this was never explained to Phallic Tomato. However, this fruit will also not learn the fine art of trampoline bouncing. And that's probably a good thing. |
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If you have enjoyed this photo gallery, please let me know. Future pictures of Phallic Tomato may be added at a later date.
Update: October 14, 1999 - I'm sorry to report that Phallic Tomato has passed into the next life. Given the short life span of a fresh-picked unpreserved tomato, this is hardly a surprise. Still, it is a great loss to the world of fruit art. It is a shame that I was unable to capture Phallic Tomato's beauty in other settings, such as salad bowls or vegetable arrangements, that would have complemented his true colors. The world will never know the potential of Phallic Tomato.
Thanks to Kev and Coop for their digital image photography. This page was inspired by the Nude Man Carrot webpage. Apologies to its webmaster... I wasn't trying to rip you off. I guess Nature works in mysterious ways. :)
6359 fruit viewers since October 14, 1999